Extra! Extra! Read all about it!

Asssociatied PressóWashington D.C. ñ In the shadow of in impending war with Iraq, and weighed down by a bleak economic forecast; the Bush administration bumps terror alert up to orange.

ìFearing that citizens of the United States were becoming complacent,î a Bush insider told this reported, ìwe thought it essential to upgrade.

ìYou see, we figured, with the economy stalled and the scepter [ed. yes he said scepter] of war we had the perfect marketing ploy. We tell the people that, ëWe have overwhelming evidence that a terrorist attack will happen, at sometime, in someplace. We feel it necessary move the terror alert to orange; due to this very specific threat.í Boo-ya!!! We single handedly can pass the bossís budget because, with us advising people to buy plastic sheets and duct tape, the economy is going to pick up. Consumer spending, baby! And thus, the tax cuts work.î

###